The years was so long back, a decade, if i'm not far wrong. Reminiscing how the time of "me" had become the "now of me".
Am i really emotionally weak? Or am i just sensitive? Or am i having hypertension and/or chemical imbalanced? C'mon, i am a guy,man. I am a man. Not an "ah boy".
I came to a conclusion that being tired does cause higher sensitivity in one's emotion which can also lead to depression, if one do not know how to fight back emotionally.
Well, heard of "very tired but cannot sleep" Symptom? It hits me, but it doesn't sound right anyway. That's that link to cognitive dissonance? I wouldn't think so.
I had to rely on "Melatonin" pills many time to be able to sleep at night. Comparing "Melatonin" to "Dormicum", "Dormicum" is a sleeping pill only prescribe by doctors, while "Melatonin" is a cheaper natural body insulin pills found at pharmacies for sleep inducing.
And where's is my Commando Spirit? I cannot feel it now, despite being "Once a Commando, and always a Commando" quote.
So where's my Karate Spirit? I too cannot feel it now. The feeling had vanished long time back.
Does it mean i have to wear an SAF smart 4 uniform with my Red Beret to feel "Fierce" or wear my Karate gi and black belt to really feel it? I don't deny some do gain the spirit only when they wear their uniforms. So does that somehow ring a bell of the thought of "Superman"?
Haiz, Integrated Marketing Communications main assignment. Social Cause? Perhaps i'm not kind enough. No social cause or concern close to heart yet. But since im in the Security Protection industry, my social cause or concern will be Security Awareness. At first it was about "Stopping Aid", but as mentioned by the lecturer, it has been beaten to death worldwide, and talking about "Healthy living", it is too broad to narrow or draw the line down. So, i had a headached on that module. At times i don't deny the lecturer's mouth does spit a psychic knife into my heart. But the damage wasn't too great for me to recoup each time.
It is seemingly true that a student's motivation and liking for a module does link to who the Lecturer is. If a lecturer is good, the students will like the module. But if the lecturer is fucked up, it does affect the students' morale somehow or in someway.
I'm a degree undergraduate now. I should feel like one, but right now, i don't feel it. Why?
However, my Feng Shui Confucius had blessed and looked after me through my Advanced Diploma in Mass Communications and Business Management. I am grateful for that.
I felt empty. Nothing can make me high easily. I do need something to make me feel high, or gives me high morale. Pls help.
Recently, i became one of the Pilots(Tactical drivers) for my Protection services side. On one part, i am glad that through this manual driving, i regained back my manual driving skills in just 1 full day. Now i can drive as fast i can handle, and believe my driving skills have improved like rocket. Just have to wait for defensive driving course.
This redemption of confident driving also changes my thought of getting a manual car in future, than a lazy auto. Manual car does stimulate your brain all round and make you think faster than prolong driving of auto, i would say.
At time i don't understand why my brain seems to degenerate when on the ground, meeting outside people. The degeneration cause the slow process of the memory at times and decelerate the output of the brain. This must be fear. Stupid, fear, pls go to hell! Confident, pls come to me. Come to me, my little "Confident".
However it is time i should become a good crown and keep practice juggling my work and study well. Of course energy and time plays a part. Inspiration and motivation need to come in too. They are an integral part in contributing to the overall success.
Wish me luck. God bless me.
Good day.
