Where's my fucking CB confidence. I set an inner standard within myself so high that when there's a little flaws, be it work, studies or leisure that they will hurt my pride and ego, and i am sensitive on how people sees, when people in reality base, doesn't really care.
I'm feeling no confident towards ladies, that is why love never happens. I don't have the habit of calling people, especially gals. This could have been years conditioned till numb now.
I am never able to sleep early at night, and i think i jolly well migrate to the State one day, where the day is the night here, and the night is the day.
My problem is such a great extend of high level that logically, no one can sees what's really wrong, and i definitely cannot solve it myself. My close buddy says he hears my problem as a no problem, where i see things as a problem.
I sometimes could not balance my ying and yang qi, perhaps. I cannot balance the good and bad. I cannot balance the peace and love.
An unknown fear sometimes keep attacking me. I am so spiritually sensitive.
Could it all be becos of the unable to sleep well at night, thus the morning seems horribly hallucinated?
Nothing can really seems to satisfy me well. Where's the joy, where i find no joy in many things.
Could i be unsound? Could i be living in illusions? Was i being cursed?
Or could it be bipolar(like Ris Low)?
The mystery is yet to unfold....
