Thursday, August 27, 2009

What is love?













What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said �Love all�

Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But �love� is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.



In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.


Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.

Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. William Shakespeare.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

SIMPLE PLEASURES

RISE EARLY

That precious few minutes of snoozing does you more harm than good. Instead of rushing out every day, try waking up 15 minutes earlier than before. Do some stretching exercises, sit down for a cup of coffee and read a newspaper, or simply take your time to psych up for the day ahead.

EXPLORE AND EXPERIENCE

Stop camping in front of the TV or Computer. Get outdoors to appreciate nature, engage in a fun sport, ask someone out for a coffee, or travel to exotic regions for a refreshing experienc.

START WITH A SMILE

Smile even if you've no reason to, because it will actually make you feel better. Research shows that smiling relieves stress and can increase the efficiency of your immune system. It also helps to lower blood pressure and release feel good chemicals called endorphines into your blood stream to life your mood.


CYCLE YOUR WAY TO FITNESS

Riding a bicycle helps to improve your mascular strength and blood circulation. Cover 30km per week and it reduces the risk of coronary heart diseases by half. Plus, it's a good way to relieve stress.

DEAL WITH DETRACTIORS

Ignore negative people who make you feel unworthy, even if it's well-intentioned. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who share your vision and dreams.

BUILD AN EMERGENCY FUND

It's never too early to be prepared for life's uncertainties, given the rough economic climate. Be realistic, start small and find a savings plan that fits your lifestyle so you have the confidence to see it through.

BOOST YOUR BRAIN POWER

Mind-enriching and challenging games like Sudoku and crossword puzzles are great for a good mental workout. Brain games can increase mental abilities such as processing speed and reaction time.

LOSE AN ARGUMENT

Winning doesn't always bring joy. Instead of fighting to be right all the time, seek to understand from a different perspective. You'll be much happier.

FIND TIME TO MEDITATE

Quiet time alone does wonders to relax, bring calm and restore your frazzled nerves to sanity. Or play some soft music to sooth your senses. Do this twice weekly for half and hour each time.

RETIRE EARLY

That sounds like a far-fetched dream for most people but it's definitely achievable if you have a sound investment portfolio and a well-thought out plan. So, start thinking.




Extracted from the Ask OCBC newsletter.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Life's meaning?

Can't really know what's up. The period of time where i was tiptop positive, smiling and having this positive vibrant feeling instilled with the slogan of "Life is good", seemed to fade like an ink on the paper.

The years was so long back, a decade, if i'm not far wrong. Reminiscing how the time of "me" had become the "now of me".

Am i really emotionally weak? Or am i just sensitive? Or am i having hypertension and/or chemical imbalanced? C'mon, i am a guy,man. I am a man. Not an "ah boy".

I came to a conclusion that being tired does cause higher sensitivity in one's emotion which can also lead to depression, if one do not know how to fight back emotionally.

Well, heard of "very tired but cannot sleep" Symptom? It hits me, but it doesn't sound right anyway. That's that link to cognitive dissonance? I wouldn't think so.


I had to rely on "Melatonin" pills many time to be able to sleep at night. Comparing "Melatonin" to "Dormicum", "Dormicum" is a sleeping pill only prescribe by doctors, while "Melatonin" is a cheaper natural body insulin pills found at pharmacies for sleep inducing.

And where's is my Commando Spirit? I cannot feel it now, despite being "Once a Commando, and always a Commando" quote.

So where's my Karate Spirit? I too cannot feel it now. The feeling had vanished long time back.

Does it mean i have to wear an SAF smart 4 uniform with my Red Beret to feel "Fierce" or wear my Karate gi and black belt to really feel it? I don't deny some do gain the spirit only when they wear their uniforms. So does that somehow ring a bell of the thought of "Superman"?

Haiz, Integrated Marketing Communications main assignment. Social Cause? Perhaps i'm not kind enough. No social cause or concern close to heart yet. But since im in the Security Protection industry, my social cause or concern will be Security Awareness. At first it was about "Stopping Aid", but as mentioned by the lecturer, it has been beaten to death worldwide, and talking about "Healthy living", it is too broad to narrow or draw the line down. So, i had a headached on that module. At times i don't deny the lecturer's mouth does spit a psychic knife into my heart. But the damage wasn't too great for me to recoup each time.

It is seemingly true that a student's motivation and liking for a module does link to who the Lecturer is. If a lecturer is good, the students will like the module. But if the lecturer is fucked up, it does affect the students' morale somehow or in someway.

I'm a degree undergraduate now. I should feel like one, but right now, i don't feel it. Why?

However, my Feng Shui Confucius had blessed and looked after me through my Advanced Diploma in Mass Communications and Business Management. I am grateful for that.

I felt empty. Nothing can make me high easily. I do need something to make me feel high, or gives me high morale. Pls help.

Recently, i became one of the Pilots(Tactical drivers) for my Protection services side. On one part, i am glad that through this manual driving, i regained back my manual driving skills in just 1 full day. Now i can drive as fast i can handle, and believe my driving skills have improved like rocket. Just have to wait for defensive driving course.

This redemption of confident driving also changes my thought of getting a manual car in future, than a lazy auto. Manual car does stimulate your brain all round and make you think faster than prolong driving of auto, i would say.



At time i don't understand why my brain seems to degenerate when on the ground, meeting outside people. The degeneration cause the slow process of the memory at times and decelerate the output of the brain. This must be fear. Stupid, fear, pls go to hell! Confident, pls come to me. Come to me, my little "Confident".

However it is time i should become a good crown and keep practice juggling my work and study well. Of course energy and time plays a part. Inspiration and motivation need to come in too. They are an integral part in contributing to the overall success.

Wish me luck. God bless me.

Good day.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Security and Counter-Terrorism: Self-Protection for ladies.

A very good article forward to me via email. Extracted for all ladies down here. May save ur life or ur love one's life.

Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do
in an emergency situation....

This is for you, and for you to share with your wife,
your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 9 crucial tips , copy and
forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1 . Tip from the Art of Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it! .

2.If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM ..
Toss it away from you....
chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!


3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.
The driver won ' t see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.)
DON' T DO THIS!
The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in
on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.


SO AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car
with a gun to your head
DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead start the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you. Your Seat belt will too.
If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it.
As soon as the car crashes, get out and run.
It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 A few notes about getting
into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:
look around you,
look into your car,
at the passenger side floor,and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door .
Some serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the cars parked on the driver ' s side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
and get someone -
guard/policeman to walk you back out..
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator
instead of the stairs.
(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)


7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathy of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ' for help ' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.


9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door. '
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, ' We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door. '
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby ' s cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby 's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----
The Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America ' s Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.


I 'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life.. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.

These tips are intended for ladies. But if any of you thought it is useful, do copy and send it around.

Send this to any woman you know that may need it.

Friday, June 26, 2009

BCOE5 0916A Communications Management 1

M2 THEORIES of COMM

We might say that communication consists of transmitting information from one person to another. In fact, many scholars of communication take this as a working definition, and use Lasswell's maxim, "who says what to whom in what channel with what effect," as a means of circumscribing the field of communication theory.

Communication Theory Framework
It is helpful to examine communication and communication theory through one of the following viewpoints:
Mechanistic: This view considers communication to be a perfect transaction of a message from the sender to the receiver. (as seen in the diagram above)
Psychological: This view considers communication as the act of sending a message to a receiver, and the feelings and thoughts of the receiver upon interpreting the message.Social Constructionist (Symbolic Interactionist): This view considers communication to be the product of the interactants sharing and creating meaning.
Systemic: This view considers communication to be the new messages created via “through-put”, or what happens as the message is being interpreted and re-interpreted as it travels through people.
Critical: This view considers communication as a source of power and oppression of individuals and social groups.Inspection of a particular theory on this level will provide a framework on the nature of communication as seen within the confines of that theory.Theories can also be studied and organized according to the ontological, epistemological, and axiological framework imposed by the theorist.
Ontology essentially poses the question of what, exactly, it is the theorist is examining. One must consider the very nature of reality. The answer usually falls in one of three realms depending on whether the theorist sees the phenomena through the lens of a realist, nominalist, or social constructionist. Realist perspective views the world objectively, believing that there is a world outside of our own experience and cognitions. Nominalists see the world subjectively, claiming that everything outside of one’s cognitions is simply names and labels. Social constructionists straddle the fence between objective and subjective reality, claiming that reality is what we create together.
Epistemology is an examination of how the theorist studies the chosen phenomena. In studying epistemology, objective knowledge is said to be the result of a systematic look at the causal relationships of phenomena. This knowledge is usually attained through use of the scientific method. Scholars often think that empirical evidence collected in an objective manner is most likely to reflect truth in the findings. Theories of this ilk are usually created to predict a phenomenon. Subjective theory holds that understanding is based on situated knowledge, typically found using interpretative methodology such as ethnography and interviews. Subjective theories are typically developed to explain or understand phenomena in the social world.
Axiology is concerned with what values drive a theorist to develop a theory. Theorists must be mindful of potential biases so that they will not influence or skew their findings (Miller, 21-23).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------COMPREHENDING CULTURAL DIVERSITY

Every country or region within a country has a unique common heritage, joint experience, and shared learning that produces its culture.This background gives its members a complex system of cultural values, traits, morals, and customs.It teaches them how to behave, it conditions their reactions.

Individualism
Americans believe in individualism, an attitude of independence and freedom from control. They think that initiative and self-assertion result in personal achievement. They believe in individual action and personal responsibility and they desire a large degree of freedom in their personal lives.
Other cultures emphasize belonging to organizations, groups, and teams; they encourage acceptance of group values, duties, and decisions. They typically resist independence because it fosters competition and confrontation instead of consensus. In group-oriented cultures like that of Japan, for example, self assertion and individual decisions are discouraged. “The nail that sticks up gets pounded down” is a common Japanese saying. Business decisions are often made by all who have competence in the matter under discussion. In China managers also focus on the group rather than on the individual, preferring a “consultative’ management style over an autocratic style.

Formality
Americans place less emphasis on tradition, ceremony, and social rules than do people in some other cultures. They dress casually and are soon on a first-name basis with others. Their lack of formality is often characterized by directness. In business dealings Americans come to the point immediately; indirectness, they feel, wastes time, a valuable commodity.
This informality and directness may be confusing abroad. in Mexico, for example, a typical business meeting begins with handshakes, coffee, and an expansive conversation about the weather, sports, and other light topics. An invitation to “get down to business’ might offend a Mexican executive. In Japan signing documents and exchanging business cards are important rituals. In Europe first names are never used without invitation. In Arab, South American, and Asian cultures, a feeling of friendship and kinship must be established before business can be transacted.

Communication Style
Americans value straightforwardness, are suspicious of evasiveness and distrust people who might have a “hidden agenda” or who “play their cards too close to the chest.” Americans also tend to be uncomfortable with silence and impatient delays. Some Asian businesspeople have learned that the longer they delay negotiations, the more concessions impatient Americans are likely to make.
Americans also tend to use and understand words literally. Latins, on the other hand, enjoy plays on words; Arabs and South Americans sometimes speak with extravagant or poetic figures of speech that may be misinterpreted if taken literally; Nigerians prefer a quiet, clear form of expression; Germans tend to be direct but understated

Change
In cultures shaped by Western religious values, change is a phenomenon that can be influenced and even controlled. Change is accepted and planned for.In other cultures change is perceived as inevitable, the natural evolution of devout Moslems, for example, planning for the future is sacrilegious because such plans might circumvent the will of Allah.

Time Orientation
Americans consider time a precious commodity to be conserved. They correlate time with productivity, efficiency, and money. Keeping people waiting for business appointments wastes time and is also rude.
In other cultures time may be perceived as an unlimited and never-ending resource to be enjoyed. An American businessperson, for example, was kept waiting two hours past a scheduled appointment time in Latin America. She wasn’t offended, though, because she was familiar with Hispanics’ more relaxed concept of time.
Although Asians are punctual, their need for deliberation and contemplation sometimes clashes with our desire for speedy decisions. They do not like to be rushed. A Japanese businessperson considering the purchase of American appliances, for example, asked for 5 minutes to consider the salesperson’s proposal. The potential buyer crossed his arms, sat back, and closed his eyes in concentration. A scant 18 seconds later, the American launched into sales pitch to the obvious bewilderment of the Japanese.

Cultivating the Right Attitude

Being aware of your own culture and how it contrasts with others is an important first step in preventing intercultural misunderstanding. Avoiding ethnocentrism and stereotyping while developing tolerance further helps business communicators overcome cultural barriers

Avoiding ethnocentrism. The belief in the superiority of one’s own race is known as ethnocentrism, a natural attitude inherent to all cultures. If you were raised in America, the values described previously probably seem “right” to you, and you may wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t function under the same sensible rules. An American businessperson in an Arab or Asian country might feel irritated at time spent over coffee or other social rituals before any “real’ business is transacted. In these cultures, however, personal relationships must be established and nurtured before credible negotiations may proceed.

Ethnocentrism causes us to judge others by own values. We expect others to react as we would, and they expect us to behave as they would. Misunderstandings naturally result. An American who wants to set a deadline for completion of a negotiation is considered pushy by an Arab. That same Arab, who prefers a handshake to a written contract, is seen as naïve and possibly untrustworthy by the American. These ethnocentric reactions can be reduced through knowledge of other cultures and development of flexible, tolerant attitudes.

Developing tolerance. Working among people from different cultures demands tolerance and acceptance of diversity. People with closed views cannot look beyond their own ethnocentrism. But as global markets expand and as our own society becomes increasingly multiethnic tolerance becomes especially significant. Some job descriptions now include statements such as “ Must be able to interact with ethnically diverse personnel.”

To improve tolerance, practice empathy. This means trying to see the world through another’s eyes. It means being nonjudgmental, recognizing things as they are rather than as they “should be.” It includes the ability to accept others’ contributions in solving problems in a culturally appropriate manner. When Kal Kan Foods began courting the pets of Japan, for example, an Asian advisor suggested that the meat chunks in its Pedigree dog food be cut into perfect little squares. Why? Japanese pet owners feed their dogs piece by piece with chopsticks. Instead of insisting on what “should be” (feeding dogs chunky meat morsels), Kal Kan solved the problem by looking at it from another cultural point of view (providing neat small squares).

In business transactions Americans usually assume that economic factors are the primary motivators of people. It’s wise to remember, though, that strong cultural influences are also at work. Saving face, for example, is important in many parts of the world. Because Americans value honesty and directness, they come right to the point and “tell it like it is .” Mexicans and Asians, on the other hand, are more concerned with preserving social harmony and saving face. They are indirect and go to great lengths to avoid the offense of saying no. The Japanese, in fact, have 16 different ways to avoid an outright no. The empathic listener recognizes the language of refusal and pushes no further.

Being tolerant also involves patience. If a foreigner is struggling to express and idea in English, avoid the temptation to finish the sentence and provide the word that you presume is wanted. When we put words in their mouths, our foreign friends often smile and agree out of politeness, but our words may in fact not express their thoughts. Thus, our impatience may prevent us from learning the communicator’s true thoughts. Remaining silent is another means of exhibiting tolerance. Instead of filling every lapse in conversation. Americans should recognize that in Asian cultures people deliberately use periods of silence for reflection and contemplation.

Moving beyond stereotypes. Our perception of other cultures sometimes cause us to form stereotypes about groups of people. A stereotype is an oversimplified pattern applied uncritically. For example, the Swiss are hard-working, efficient and neat; Germans are formal, reserved, and blunt; Americans are loud, but may accurately describe cultural norms, but when applied to individual business communicators, such stereotypes create misconceptions and cause misunderstandings. When you meet and work with people from other cultures, remember that they, too resent being stereotyped. Look beneath surface stereotypes and labels to discover individual personal qualities.Key in XENOPHOBIA for related notes on ethnocentrism

END

BCOE5 0916A Communications Management 1

M1 COMMUNICATION MODELS

How does communication take place?The process of communication begins when the SENDER (person who wants to send an idea) encodes the idea in a message.
The medium over which the message is physically transmitted is the channel.Message can be delivered by speech, writing, gestures (body-language) or even pictures.
The individual for whom the message is intended is the receiver.
Translating the message from its symbol form into meaning involves decoding.Feedback helps the sender know that the message was received and understood.Figure 1Sender has ideaSender encodes idea in messageMessage travels over channelReceiver decodes messageFeedback from receiver

7.2 BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION

1. The communication process is successful only when the receiver understands the message as intended by the sender.
2. Most message that we send reach their destination but many are only partially understood.3. These barriers happen at any stage in the process of communication.

Misunderstanding of communications can be due to the following.
1. By passingBy passing happens when people miss each other with their meanings (meanings are not similar).
2. Frame of ReferenceEverything you see and feel in the world is translated through your individual frame of reference. This frame is formed by a combination of your experiences, education, culture, expectations, attitudes etc.
3. Lack of language skillEach individual needs an adequate vocabulary, a command of basic punctuation and grammar, and skills in written and oral expression.
4. Lack of listening skillsInattention to oral messages often prevents us from hearing the clearly.
5. Emotional InterferenceShaping an intelligent message is difficult when you are feeling joy, fear, sadness, hostility or some other strong emotion.
6. Physical DistractionsNoisy surroundings, a poor telephone connection, poor printing and typographical errors can cause barriers to communications.

Communication Models***Click for hyperlinks

Contents
The Advantages of Models
Limitations of ModelsClassical Communication Models
Aristotle’s definition of rhetoric
Aristotle’s model of proof
Bitzer’s Rhetorical SituationEarly Linear Models
The Shannon-Weaver Mathematical Model, 1949
Berlo’s S-M-C-R, 1960
Schramm’s Interactive Model, 1954
Non-linear ModelsDance’s Helical Spiral, 1967
Westley and MacLean’s Conceptual Model, 1957
Becker’s Mosaic Model, 1968
Multidimensional ModelsRuesch and Bateson, Functional Model, 1951
Barnlund’s Transactional Model, 1970
Suggestions for Communication ModelsSystemic Model of Communication, 1972
Brown’s Holographic Model, 1987
A Fractal Model
Suggested Readings

NB
Also read up on Cicero,Sophists and ancient Greek orators

END